Boyfriends, Bei Fongs and Badgermoles
by Biotic Circuitry
Summary: And you thought your life was crazy. That's right folks! It's Toph's Blog and she has something to say about everything.
1. Chapter 1

_**Boyfriends, Bei Fongs and Badgermoles: The Weirdness of My Life**_

_**Summary: And you thought your life was crazy. That's right folks! It's Toph's Blog and she has something to say about everything. **_

_**Pairings: TAANG with mentioned zutara and sukka**_

_**Rating: T**_

_**Category: Romance/humor**_

_**Chapter Length:752 words**_

_**. . . **_

_5/2/11_

_Toph's Blog!_

Hello, people of the internet! It is I, Toph Bei Fong, the greatest Earthbender who ever lived!

Now what, you may ask, has suddenly prompted me to begin recording my life on the internet? The answer is simple: School. My English teacher got the idea of having her students blog (about anything, thank Agni) for a month. She got this unique idea form Katara's teacher who "commandeered" the assignment from Zuko's teacher. Isn't it great how creative teachers are these days? It seems like all they do is sit on their butts and copy lesson plans off of Wikipedia..

Enough ranting, on to the blog!

First a bit about me: I'm blind, but I hate it when people try to treat me like a baby because of it. My mom is a Symphonic French Horn player and my dad is the CEO and owner of the Bei Fong building empire, so I'm pretty well set. Music is my life; my taste in it is as unique as myself. I have a group of loving friends and a fabulous boyfriend whom I lovingly call Twinkle Toes.

Speaking of darling Twinkle Toes, the other day, Katara, Zuko, Sokka, Suki, Aang (Twinkles!) and myself, otherwise known as the gAang (This group's idiotic name provided by your local Sokka) went to Gatti-Town 'cause were cool like that. ( Not really. We're dorks) So anyways, we got there and tried to make a bee-line to the arcade, but the boys got a tidge... distracted. I swear this is what was going thought their heads: "games, games, games, games, fooooooooooooood..." Let's just say we had to wait for each of the boys to finish their entire pizza pie. And no, not one of those 6 inch "personal" pizzas, they ate a full sized 16 inch pie. Man, those boys can eat. I'm not saying that we girls didn't eat but at least we chew our food, you know?

Anyways, after our pizza fananzia, we finally made our way to the Arcade and one of my favorite things in the world: BUMPER CARS, the only kind of cars where it is good to run into other people! Perfect for blind teens of all ages! The six of us took all the cars, so it was gAang member against gAang member, which is probably a good thing because Suki hyped on soda and pizza pinned against a little nine year old would definitely not end well for either party. Either way it was TONS of fun! Katara was in the middle spinning around like her inner ballerina, Zuko and Sokka were ramming at each other head on and the rest of us were just going around randomly, having the time of our lives.

Unfortunately after our fifth round we all (especially Sokka) started to get a little queasy so relinquished our dominance of the bumper cars to a group of what appeared to be seventh graders. So anyways, Aang and I were playing one of those impossible games were you try to pick up tokens with a claw then have them pushed into a slot (you know what I'm talking about) and he umm... helped it along a little with some metal bending (shhh don't tell anyone). He ended up getting few hundred credits which he spent on a gigantic stuffed animal piggy (my favorite animal) for MOI! Isn't he the sweetest boyfriend or what?

More Tomorrow,

Toph

_**. . .**_

**Oh, darling Toph, you have so much to say! Thanks to the wonderful Immortal Symphony for Beta-ing and allowing me to use her blog idea. Please review or else Toph will put you six feet while you are still 98.6 degrees F or 37 degrees C for all you metric people out there. Questions are also accepted. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Boyfriends, Bei Fongs and Badgermoles: The Weirdness of My Life**

_**Summary: And you thought your life was crazy. That's right folks! It's Toph's Blog and she has something to say about everything.**_

_**Pairings: TAANG with mentioned Zutara and Sukka**_

_**Rating: T**_

_**Category: Romance/humor**_

_**Chapter Length: 593 words**_

_**. . .**_

_5/3/11_

_Toph's Blog!_

Ahoy! 'Tis day two of my blog and you, my dear reader are about to witness history! (Well, not really _witness,_ you're just reading about it, but either way it's and important moment in history.) Twinkles and I are about to settle our debate of Pirates vs. Ninjas!

Explanation time!

Aang and I have this ongoing debate of which is better. I am all for Pirates and he is the same, just for Ninjas. Whenever the topic arises again we _try _to give logical reasons for cause (Pirates or Ninjas) but eventually we end up like this,

"Pirates!"

"Ninjas!"

"Pirates!"

"You know, I've meet some pirates and they weren't very nice."

"That's because you're pro-ninja!"

"And that gives them an adequate reason to try and _kill _me?"

"_But it does mean that I win!"_

"Wait! How does me almost getting killed by pirates declare you the winner?"

"It just does! Do you want to go get a smoothie?"

"Sure."

Neither of us have any idea of how this started but we're both 152.735% sure that our side is the obvious winner.

So anyways…..

We've both agreed to watch (or in my case listen to) the other's all time favorite Pirate/Ninja movie at my house, because apparently I have the better TV. Twinkle Toes chose an apparently anime movie, which, after seeing it, I deemed an odd choice for him. It was really action-y and, by the number of battle scenes, pretty darn gory. My overall rating of it was…(drum roll please)… pretty okay. It was tolerable to watch while leaning on my darling's shoulder as he plays with my hair (he does that a lot), but otherwise, I would be out of there in a heartbeat.

For my Pirate movie I chose the modern classic, and my personal favorite Pirates of the Caribbean and, by using my girlie-magical-ness, (I am chronically low on this resource, so I use it sparingly) I convinced Twinkles to watch ALL three. And now you have been pretty much caught up to the present moment. Twinkles is getting some more popcorn (yum!), I am typing and Captain Jack Sparrow is frozen fighting with himself over a peanut.

Ah, well, Aang and the delicious popped-corn are back and, seeing as I don't want to get butter all over my laptop, I guess that's all for today.

later,

Toph

_**. . .**_

**Fun times chillin' and watching a movie, especially Pirates of the Caribbean. Thanks to the wonderful Immortal Symphony for Beta-ing and allowing me to use her blog idea. ****R'n'R please. Questions and **_**constructive**_** criticism are always accepted!**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Boyfriends, Bei Fongs and Badgermoles: The Weirdness of My Life**_

_**Summary: And you thought your life was crazy. That's right folks! It's Toph's Blog and she has something to say about everything.**_

_**Pairings: TAANG with mentioned Zutara and Sukka**_

_**Rating: T**_

_**Category: Romance/humor**_

_**Chapter Length: 577 words**_

_**. . .**_

_5/4/11_

_Toph's Blog!_

Ollo, peoples of the world! It is another sunny day ( you don't need to see to know when UV rays are beaming down on you, threatening to give you a horrific sunburn) for a track meet and I am 572.65% sure that Twinkles is going to dominate! Not that he doesn't normally, but today I am extra sure. It might just be because the rival schools are no match to the Oh Great and Powerful Aang or I'm just hyped up on a bag of gummy bears and two cans of Monster, but either way Twinkle is so going to win. Wooooooooooooo! I'M HYPER!

And that leads us to the new thing-a-ma-what-sit:

Random things done while on a sugar rush!

Run around a field faster than any of the track team and trip everyone on the track team.

Catch the attention of the school's track coach.

Get asked to be on the track team by said coach.

Make monkey faces at the coach while he was talking.

Laugh hysterically at yourself.

Fall on the ground laughing.

Keep laughing.

Attempt to breath. Fail. Try again.

Finally regain control of your diaphragm and skip off to the concession stand to get more gummy bears to devour.

While waiting in line, poke random people and say, "rocks" or "box" or even "socks".

Receive some very strange looks from the other people in line.

Spin around while trying to get back to the bleachers.

Devour gummy bears heads while blogging about the whole endeavor.

Yummm... Gummy bears... Which are TOTALY better than gummy worms.

Though gummy worms are still pretty good, who wants to eat a candy that looks like a worm.

I mean, I'm an earth-bender and even I don't want to eat them. What is their purpose in the Gummy food universe anyways? There is no gummy soil for them to aerate or dead gummy animal remains to decompose nor gummy birds to get eaten by (thought there are such things as gummy fish) so what is the point of having gummy worms? I guess the world will never know.

I'm going to go annoy random people now.

BYE! - D

Toph.

_**. . .**_

_**Oh, wow. Toph on a major sugar rush. Scary thought. Thanks to the wonderful Immortal Symphony for Beta-ing and allowing me to use her blog idea. R'n'R please. Questions, debate ideas and constructive criticism are always accepted!**_


End file.
